These days even caustic mainstream comedies are trying to rediscover sentimentality, without being sentimental. The Big Sick succeeds in generating genuine warmth even though it’s set in the middle of stand-up culture, where simple human honesty usually lies beneath layers of sarcasm, self-disgust and post-modern irony. Competing stand-up folk are viciously critical of each other behind each other’s backs, with the excuse that we’re all knowing adults. Besides, to survive one needs to grow a healthy thick skin.
The hook that pulled me in with The Big Sick was word of mouth that the film was warmly human and uplifting. And that statement was not followed by a snide reversal, insinuating that honest emotions are for dweebs. I have seen director Michael Showalter’s Hello, My Name Is Doris and even though it’s pretty awkward, it wants to be a straight-up People Movie. The Big Sick goes the distance. If you’re intrigued by the words “warmly human and uplifting” put this aside, avoid the ads and see the picture first.
The show is an adaptation of the writers’ true story, the romance of Kumail Nanjani and Emily Gordon. Kumail plays himself; Emily is played by Zoe Kazan. Talk about a risky movie concept for a relationship.
A Chicago comedy club harbors a cluster of comedians hopeful to be discovered. Chris (Kurt Braunohler) works an unchanging routine, which his friends think is tired, while Mary (Aidy Bryant) keeps trying to perfect her act. Kumail (Kumail Nanjani) is from Pakistan and seems to be working out his ethnic identity issues on stage. Kumail’s friendly candor wins him many dates, but his home situation requires that he resist serious relationships: his parents Azman and Sharmeen (Anupan Kher & Zenobia Shroff) expect him to attend weekly dinners to meet potential arranged-marriage prospects, good Pakistani-Muslim women. They’re counting the days until Kumail abandons his frivolous interest in stand-up.
Kumail instead meets physical therapy student Emily (Zoe Kazan). They pretend that their relationship has no future while continuing to see each other steadily. When Kumail finally admits that they can have no future because he won’t be disowned for marrying a non-Muslim, Emily is crushed and furious, and walks out on him. Not much later Kumail learns that Emily is in a hospital fighting for her life against a life-threatening infection. By the time Kumail arrives she is unconscious, and is soon placed in a medically induced coma. Kumail wants to stay even after Emily’s parents Beth and Terry (Holly Hunter & Ray Romano) arrive. Beth is not very happy to see Kumail. Emily has shared everything with her, and she can’t believe that a heel like Kumail would want to stick around.
Knowing that the story we’re seeing is true doubles The Big Sick’s impact. Kumail and the ‘real’ Emily experienced an intense modern drama, a sleeping beauty story with no guarantee of a good outcome. As embodied by the vulnerable/feisty Zoe Kazan, Emily goes into her deep sleep furious over Kumail’s betrayal, and is then effectively absent for most of the medical ordeal. The show doesn’t invent an instant happy ending. It recognizes obstacles that can’t be bridged by wishful thinking and happy-speak.
Not just a romance interrupted by a deadly illness, The Big Sick has a lot to say about the realities of ethnic assimilation. Few of us were raised in hermetically sealed ethnic bubbles. When I was a clueless high schooler, a girl I liked said we could talk in school but anything else was a no-go because I wasn’t Jewish. Kumail’s parents are not awful people, simply first-generation immigrants with inalterable beliefs. Kumail pleads, “Why did you come to this country if you weren’t going to accept the country’s standards for your children? (paraphrase)
Actually, Kumail’s parents are charming people with a fairly hilarious sense of humor, even Sharmeen when she gives her son a hard time. The ‘surprise’ dinnertime visits by a string of young Muslim women are only superficially funny. Ritual dictates that these women must petition a ‘good’ family to seek a mate, all but carrying documents proving their worth. They aren’t quiet little homebodies, but outgoing, interesting and attractive modern women. The game is inherently humiliating. Hearing that Kumail likes The X Files, one hopeful pretends that she does too.
At Emily’s side, Kumail must weather a rough ‘meet the parents’ period. Beth is hostile, to say the least, and Terry’s initial dismissals are withering. Kumail chooses to stick it out, following his better instincts. Yet if Emily does wake up, the first thing she might do is tell him to go to hell.
Not halfway into the movie, all traces of snark, sarcasm and ‘ironic distance’ are banished. We’re practically in open-heart territory, as in classic fare like The Apartment and Wild River, to name two movies that still send me, after fifty viewings each. The situation is impossible. . . or is it divine?
Actor Kumail Nanjiani played a lively but thankless ‘ethnic’ in the aforementioned My Name Is Doris, a film that’s mostly good intentions gone wrong. Here he does what I’ve seen nobody do really well, play himself and not come off as a complete jerk. Stand-up comics really sell themselves and their personalities, and Nanjiani earns our acceptance.
Probably a lot more vulnerable than the real Emily, Zoe Kazan breaks our hearts. I haven’t seen Ms. Kazan’s previous movie appearances, but I’m won over here. She makes Emily into the quintessential Girl Who Didn’t Deserve What She Got. By the cruel laws of modern romance, Emily must play the ‘it’s not serious, ha ha’ game as far as it can be played. When that balloon pops we share her righteous devastation. It doesn’t matter that Kumail’s deception wasn’t premeditated, that he in fact hasn’t realized how deep his feelings are for Emily. The way the happiness drains from Emily’s face is shattering. Any decent guy will be reminded of the girls/women he disappointed before learning how not to be a selfish Jerk. The emotional blow could very well be responsible for Emily’s sickness — believe me, it happens.
The writers Nanjiani and Gordon allow natural dialogue to reveal relationships. None of the supporting cast is given the task of dispensing background information in lame exposition dumps. Fans of Holly Hunter and Ray Romano will not be disappointed, as no false sitcom moments pass between them. Neither are Anupan Kher and Zenobia Shroff’s characters used as sitcom clowns. Although Sharmeen’s weekly matrimonial ambushes are indeed sitcom nightmares, they’re not at all exaggerated. I believe that a real life Sharmeen would act exactly as she does. We know that Kumail is a respectful good guy when he doesn’t roll his eyes or throw fits, but more is at stake than ‘funny stuff at the dinner table Things are expected of him. It is possible to be disowned.
The stand-up performances are seen only in bits and pieces, and none of it is particularly outrageous or profane. Aidy Bryant is a real winner, I believe everything she says. Kurt Braunholer has the unenviable task of playing the least evolved of the bunch. Director Showalter gets full marks for control of tone and emotional effect. Everything is extremely well paced, and no false flags of directorial baloney go up. I thought that Hello, My Name Is Doris was also well directed.
I’m a known softie but I think I have a kryptonite barrier against post-modern hip BS and faux-sentimentality that’s really selling something. I have even less patience for shows that think profanity substitutes for imagination. The Big Sick does include bodily function content that turns me off personally. It’s all but unavoidable today, and I fully realize that flagging it may say more about me than the movie. Yet to me the experience of The Big Sick was overwhelmingly positive. It’s the most enjoyable new film I’ve seen this year.
