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Piranha


Don’t be too quick to fish for a white wine to pair with the 1978 “Jaws” parody, “Piranha.”  The Roger Corman production, directed by TFH chief guru Joe Dante will probably require something with a little more bite.

 

While “Jaws” had only one fish – okay, it was a pretty big fish – “Piranha” has a whole school of the fanged demons chewing up the scenery, and anything else into which they can sink their teeth.  A Piranha attack is something which has fascinated me all my life, and apparently Dante was similarly taken with the idea of a bunch of fish picking a carcass clean.

You have to love the script’s plan to kill the piranhas by opening up the waste tank at a smelting plant and prevent them from making it into the open water of the ocean.  It may be the only time in movie history that industrial waste was penned as the good guy.  Did the plan go awry and allow the killers to spawn a sequel?  Does a fish have teeth?

 

Considering the tip of the hat to “Jaws” – and the dearth of piranha-themed wine on the market – we will look to another dangerous denizen of the deep for the wine to pair with “Piranha.”

 

Although Hello Vino says you should try Pinot Noir with shark, you may want to check with The Shark himself.  Golfer Greg Norman has estates in California and Australia, from which some killer wines are produced.  You can pair any of them with “Piranha” at prices that won’t leave you feeling like they put the bite on you.

 

Take a nip of these:
Steele Wines Catfish Zinfandel – Recommended for Cioppino, which may well have some piranha in it.
Cool Fish Wines – Whites are the specialty of this Napa producer, although pairing with piranha would suggest a red with toothy tannins.
Big Fish Wines – A San Francisco-based winery which sources grapes from Santa Barbara County, Monterey and Dry Creek Valley.
FishEye Winery – This South Eastern Australia winery promises wine that jumps out of your glass, which sounds as messy as the piranhas’ victims.
This wine contains fish – Personally, I’d rather hear “This fish contains wine.”
Piranha attack at the Smithsonian – Maybe I’m the wrong person to be asking this, but, who sits around thinking up this stuff?  Incuded here because of the reference to “expensive Pinot Noired wine.”