Pairing wine with movies! See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies, and many more, at Trailers From Hell. For this week’s movies, look no farther than the end of your arm. Let’s give the TFH gurus a hand for coming up with these choices.
If you ever sat around a campfire with your scouting brothers or sisters, you must have heard the story of that couple from “the next town over,” who were haunted by a hand. “It was still gripping the car door handle!” Yikes! What was that sound? A hand crawling through the leaves? Save us, camp counselor! Never underestimate the power of a story about a disembodied hand.
1962’s Hand of Death was also known as Five Fingers of Death, which has nothing to do with trimming your nails too close to the quick. It’s a low-budget horror film, which is underscored by the presence of Joe Besser in the cast. He’s the forgotten Stooge, the actor whose big shtick was the inability to pronounce the word “cinnamon.”
The story hinges on a scientist who tries to take the killing out of war. He develops a nerve gas which incapacitates and hypnotizes its victims. Guess what happens when he is exposed to it. Yup, monster time. Let us simply say that the U.S. military did not pursue the invention and went on killing people in the usual ways.
Australia’s Two Hands Winery has an entry that might help ward off the bad effects of nerve gas. Of course, it might not, but it’s worth a try. Their Angel’s Share Shiraz comes from the well-known McLaren Vale wine region.
The Beast with Five Fingers goes way back to 1946 for a dose of horror featuring Robert Alda and Peter Lorre. A concert pianist dies, but his left hand – like the Energizer bunny – keeps on keepin’ on. Not only does it set about strangling folks, it won’t stop playing Für Elise. No, wait, that was my kid sister who tortured the family by elongating that two-note phrase to intolerable lengths. This hand has the bad habit of scaring the bejeezus out of everyone in the old mansion. But, really, what do you expect in an old mansion?
Washington state’s Sinister Hand wine is the perfect match for The Beast with Five Fingers. You’ll probably want to turn the label away from you while watching the film. I don’t promote shoplifting, but if ever there was a wine that begged to be taken at a five-finger discount, this is the one.
The Mummy’s Hand would appear at first glance to be Universal’s 1940 addition to the world of severed appendages. The hand, however, is fully connected to the mummy, which stumbles around the various sets trying to get more tanna leaves. Gotta have them tanna leaves. Three for life, nine for motion, you know the drill.
The hand of the mummy gets in some exercise along the way by doing the strangling thing. That’s what you get when you bogart the tanna leaves from a mummy.
Door Peninsula Winery – on that bit of Wisconsin which sticks up into Lake Michigan – has a Mummy Moscato, replete with mummy bandage label art. They claim the wine will have you “walkin’ like an Egyptian” before the mummy has a chance to get his hand around your neck.