Pairing wine with movies! See the trailers and hear the fascinating commentary for these movies, and many more, at Trailers From Hell. This week, a “very special” Blood of the Vines for the celebration of the USA’s birthday. The special that’s not really special concerns movies that aren’t really movies. Pass the popcorn.
The 1974 film, Pardon My Blooper, presents the same sort of broadcast “misteaks” compiled by Kermit Schafer in his record albums of years previous. Schafer probably popularized the word “blooper” – a flub or mistake by an announcer or actor – all by himself. I had the “Pardon My Blooper” record in my teens, and was often amused by the entertaining cover art depicting a TV camera holding its lens, as if it had been punched in the face, and a radio microphone plugging its ears. Well, I was easily amused in my teens. I don’t think that even then, the film version of Blooper would have held my interest for ten minutes. It is amusing, though, to watch the staged segments in this movie. The bad lighting is the same in all of them, and I think it’s even the same actress in about half of them.
Yes, Virginia, the bloopers are phony. Although Blooper is billed in the credits as a documentary, many of the gaffes were recreated in the studio, with limited casting and awful lighting. Oh, the humanity.
Celebrate the 4th of July with many clips of a guy who sounds like a newscaster saying “take a leak,” instead of “take a look.” Spoonerisms, transposed words and saying “shitty” instead of “city.” That’s blooper comedy, my friend.
You’ll need booze to get through this one. Fortunately, one of the more famous bloopers from early YouTube days concerned Georgia’s Château Élan winery. You can see it by Googling – or Binging, if you prefer – Grape Lady Epic Fail. The TV reporter was trying to foot-stomp some grapes and took a tumble while doing so. Try a Chambourcin, since that’s what she stomping on when she slipped and fell.
Columbo Meets Scotland Yard was actually just a long TV show. It aired in 1972 as the Columbo episode, “Dagger of the Mind,” as one of the movie-length shows from the series. This one has the disheveled detective in London, helping to investigate a murder. What, not enough action in L.A. to suit Columbo? At least his raincoat finally comes in handy.
Have a Scotch with Columbo, if only because of the meme showing a Columbo lookalike holding a Chivas Regal, under the words “so good if you have something to forget.” Of course, Columbo always remembered, if at the last minute.
Now, more television, as The Meanest Men in the West is actually two episodes of “The Virginian” from the early ‘60s, TV’s Western Era. The trailer boasts that “Lee Marvin is mean, Charles Bronson is meaner.” What no mention of Chuck Norris? The Mean Academy will have something to say about that.
Is it just me, or was “The Virginian” the only TV series without any hooks at all? (No offense to Lee J. Cobb fans). I don’t recall any Virginian catch phrases, running jokes, theme song or special episodes, even these two. On a high note, one of the episodes was written and directed by Samuel Fuller and Charles Grodin appears in the other one. Well, the series drew some great talent, so someone must have been watching it.
Gotta have a Virginia wine for the mean guys. Stinson Vineyards makes a tough-guy rosé, from the brawny Tannat grape. Rosé for The Meanest Men in the West? That’s why they started calling it Brosé, bro.