“All Hu-mans there is no escape!”  Ro-man is now on the loose in Blu-ray 3-D, anaglyphic 3-D and plain old 2-D if so desired. A years-long effort culminates in an extras-rich disc release of one of the most entertaining ‘bad movies’ ever, a tale of intergalactic warfare and sacrificial heroism … all played in Bronson Canyon by 6 quiet actors and a man in a gorilla costume, correction, parts of a gorilla costume. The dialogue and acting must be seen to be believed, plus the weird faux-3-D special visual effects that Will Make You Believe you’ve fallen into an alternate reality of creaky stock footage. “You only think you CANNOT see this epic, but you MUST!”  Where on the graph of film history does this crazy movie belong?

Robot Monster 3-D
3-D Blu-ray
Bayview Entertainment
1953 / B&W / 1:37 Academy / 66 min. / Street Date July 25, 2023 / Monsters from the Moon / Available from Bayview Entertainment / 34.99
Starring: George Nader, Claudia Barrett, Selena Royle, John Mylong, Gregory Moffett, Pamela Paulson, George Barrows, John Brown.
Cinematography: Jack Greenhalgh
Makeup: Stan Campbell
Film Editor: Merrill White
Associate Editor: Bruce Schoengarth
Second Unit director: Robert E. Barnes
Special & Visual Effects: David Commons, Jack Rabin
Original Music: Elmer Bernstein
Production Associate: Irving Lerner
Written by Wyott Ordung
Executive Producer Al Zimbalist
Produced and Directed by Phil Tucker

Yes, this is indeed the original, iconic ‘bad’ movie of Golden Turkey honors. Back in the ’40s and ’50s micro-budgeted films couldn’t afford the Hollywood production values taken by many as necessary to qualify for validation. But some filmmakers saw an opportunity in the court-mandated production-exhibition breakup, like the upstarts Roger Corman, Herman Cohen, and even Stanley Kubrick. Distributors like Lippert and A.I.P. would roll the dice on a feature with no stars and low-end production values, if it had an exploitable angle for the advertising. Profitable careers were founded on such humble beginnings as Monster from the Ocean Floor, Target: Earth! and Fear and Desire.

Hollywood shops must have been buzzing with wannabe De Milles aiming to squeeze a few thousand dollars into marquee glory. Editor Phil Tucker pushed forward two 1953 features that showed he had something on the ball, at least in terms of getting a project going. Dance Hall Racket was written by none other than Lenny Bruce, but remained a complete obscurity. The second show could boast a great pitch: a Sci-Fi feature in 3-D. He must have jumped on a telephone directly after a screening of Arch Oboler’s 3-D Bwana Devil, as his hastily thrown-together feature almost beat the 3-D It Came from Outer Space into theaters. Did Phil and his writer Wyott Ordung see a script for William Cameron Menzies’ upcoming Invaders from Mars?  Tucker’s picture has a similar angle about a little boy who ‘dreams’ an alien invasion.

 

Robot Monster is even less substantial than the cinéma maudit of Ed Wood: it’s filmed completely outdoors, in Bronson Canyon and (we think) Chavez Ravine, the under-developed property that became the home of Dodger Stadium. Producer Al Zimbalist (Cat-Women of the Moon,  King Dinosaur,  Monster from Green Hell) had developed a 3-D camera rig for his ‘Tru-Stereo Corporation’ just when Hollywood was scrambling for such exotic equipment. Perhaps Robot Monster was squeezed in between other assignments?

Tucker and Zimbalist lined up actors who wouldn’t flub their dialogue, including the blacklisted Selena Royle, a top supporting actress seen in shows as prestigious as The Heiress. Hopeful Claudia Barrett had a lot of TV experience. Rugged-looking George Nader would later win a major contract with Universal-International. The film’s moppets were also good with dialogue — it’s likely that Robot Monster had few ‘take 2’ slates, considering that it cost so little, with twice as much film as normal running through the 3-D dual camera rig.

Let’s put on a show!

The idea must have been to put anything on the screen, as long as it resembled a real movie. The project could have been thrown together over a weekend, leaving no time to even think about constructing a robot. Thus was created the ‘alien robot’ creature that is nothing more than a gorilla costume with a prop diving helmet augmented with a pair of Philco TV rabbit ears. In at least one interview Tucker said the robot suit he wanted to rent was too expensive, and he was already buddies with gorilla performer George Barrows.

 

Wyott Ordung’s screenplay is 80% actors standing still and talking about a cataclysmic invasion from outer space — none of which is depicted on screen. A close reading of the details of the invasion . . . goes nowhere. If you’ve never seen Robot Monster be assured that little of what’s said makes any functional sense in the plot — ‘armadas of invading space ships’ — ‘the entire planet devastated by ‘Calcinator Rays’ (did I even remember that correctly?).’  Scientist-paterfamilias ‘the professor’ (Ukranian-born actor John Mylong, the evil plastic surgeon in His Kind of Woman) can’t decide if the last 8 people left on Earth have survived because of his electronic interference barrier (wires with electric arcs) or his anti-Calcinator vaccine. If these details matter, I don’t know how.

As filmed, Robot Monster is a tiny backyard fun-play scenario. It’s apparently meant to be a dream, or daydream, of little Johnny (Gregory Moffett). The kid snoops in the rough landscape behind his house (Bronson Caverns) and discovers a one-man invasion by Ro-Man XJ-2 (George Barrows), whose alien technology consists of two tables. One holds a bubble machine and the second a crude view-screen through which he communicates with his fearless leader, the Great Guidance (also George Barrows). Ro-Man has exterminated all of humanity, but ‘calculates’ that a few Hu-mans are immune to his weapons. He eventually realizes that he must kill them himself, ‘physically.’ His hit list even includes Johnny’s little sister Carla (Pamela Paulson).

The professor’s scientist daughter Alice (Claudia Barrett) and young scientist Roy (George Nader) get cozy between soldering circuits, and an improptu marriage is peformed. Ro-man is love-struck by the charms of Alice . . . who he endearingly calls ‘Al-ice.’ Instead of murdering her like the others, he ties her up next to the bubble machine, and phones home to tell his boss. Reacting to Ro-man’s traitorous mutiny, the Great Guidance unleashes the Ro-man equivalent of The Nuclear Option, his ‘Cosmic Tube Rays.’

 

What we get in Robot Monster is just over an hour of plain-wrap filming, in broad daylight, with very good 3-D. As much of the movie is filmed from a middle distance, with little in the foreground, the 3-D displacement isn’t always strong, but it is indeed there. Ro-man hikes up and down paths in Bronson Canyon, walking past all three cavern entrances: his headquarters is in cave entrance Number ‘5’ in this 2018 photo. The camera setups stick to one angle for each scene, both at the cave entrance, and at the Professor’s backyard patio. That’s how someone shoots an entire 3-D movie in just four days.

Robot Monster’s complicated 3-D optical work can’t have been included in the film’s reported sixteen thousand dollar budget, and Astor Pictures reported a final figure closer to $60,000. The presence of ‘alien disruptor rays’ (?) is created by quick flashes to negative, accompanied by a good electric-sizzle sound effect. The view-screen composites have a good 3-D depth, even if they look utterly artless. Those 3-D effects were all created in post-production, likely by Jack Rabin and his visual effect associates. We don’t know who was in control for post-production: Tucker, Zimbalist or distributor Astor Pictures.

Ersatz 3-D optical sequences illustrate some of the Great Guidance’s re-caps of the alien invasion. A major stock footage raid was carried out, lifting special effects from movies by Robert Lippert and others — atom war scenes from Invasion, U.S.A. and Captive Women, rockets from Rocketship X-M and It Came from Outer Space. Invader dialogue voiceovers about resurrecting prehistoric animals to ravage mankind is what ‘motivates’ absurd shots of dinosaurs from One Million B.C. and Lost Continent. Some of these flat stock shots of destruction and disaster are sandwiched into a view-screen frame, and others are (confusingly) superimposed over each other. Bob Furmanek explains how a couple were done in one of the disc’s extras — different images were aligned for the left and right 3-D eyes.

Sound effects, bolts of lightning, and flashes to negative do the rest. It also must be said that a rather good original soundtrack by just-starting-out composer Elmer Bernstein helps a lot as well. The main theme has a strong pounding beat — heard above an impressive array of comic books in deep 3-D.

 

That’s Entertainment!

Tucker’s show can be a fall-down funny experience. It’s best received in a room with a minimum 5 college friends, beer optional. In larger-scale screenings it brings the house down. The mind-boggling assault really kicks in when one tries to make sense of the stilted dialogue. At first we wonder if the non-sequitur logic of the awkward alien-speak is aiming for a specific effect — the word ‘calculate’ is used very oddly. The kid dialogue is just as phony as that for the adults. Johnny tries to sound real broken up when he learns that Sis has been attacked by Ro-man:

“Gee — I wish now I’d played house with her when she wanted to.”

It’s as if every script line has been put through a ‘moronic pulp dialogue’ filter, and augmented with indigestible verbal zingers. Since Ro-man and the Great Guidance have no faces to match synchronization, we at first suspect that everything they say was written in post. Both of them constantly gesticulate with their gorilla arms and hands, emphasizing their words like a bad Shakespearian actor. There is nothing quite like the deathlessly iconic ‘I cannot, but I must’ dialogue:

“I cannot – yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do must and cannot meet?”

Ro-man’s growled threats somehow don’t frighten:

“The child is impertinent.”  “It was a simple matter of strangulation.” “Show yourselves, and I promise you a painless death.”  “Your deaths will be indescribable.”

Ro-man’s ro-mantic antics lead only to frustration. He attempts to disrobe Alice, but modesty prevails. He also mismanages his attempts at bondage thrills. The invasion story is revealed as a dream so clumsily that viewers might not understand. Although destroyed, Ro-man makes an encore at the curtain, walking toward the camera with arms outstretched — a motion repeated three times, just for effect. Did the filmmakers hope that someone at MoMa would read Eisensteinian significance into that editorial flourish?

Of course the movie gets laughs now, but we can’t help but wonder how audiences received it in 1953. Did they roll with the joke, or did exhibitors receive complaints and walkouts?  What would a date say, being taken to Robot Monster, when Shane was playing down the street?  A critic for Harrison’s Reports warned,

“The exhibitor may be able to use this 3-D science fiction picture on the lower half of a double bill, but he should not expect his patrons to like it, for it is the poorest 3-D picture that has been made so far . . . . A few more like this one and the desire of picture-goers to see 3-D pictures will be dead.”

Now that’s an endorsement.

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Bayview Entertainment’s 3-D Blu-ray of Robot Monster 3-D is touted by the 3-D Film Archive as a 70th Anniversary 3-D Restoration. The hoopla doesn’t lie, as it is indeed accompanied by over two hours of bonus materials.

Fans of the Blu-ray home 3-D format remain as passionate as ever, even as equipment available to screen it is becoming scarce. My 2015 monitor is still hanging in there just fine, but when it goes out, who knows?   Bayview and the 3-D Archive therefore make sure that the feature is also viewable in the anaglyph format, which isn’t as good. One pair of blue-red anaglyph glasses are provided. We imagine that many viewers will choose to watch the movie in plain 2-D, which is also fully restored.

I found the 3-D effect to be excellent — the original technicians lined things up well. Objects and scenery aren’t often close to the camera, but the characters are, and the depth feels organic and natural. The goofy right eye-left eye tricks in the optical sequences are messy but amusing, in true ‘Z-picture’ tradition. I believe that the editor repeated a twenty-second sequence of duelling dinosaurs.

 

The archive recreates the 1953 experience, with its original opening short subject, a speech by a comic named Slick Slavin. We also get the original Intermission card and break. A still shows the film’s assembled crew . . . it’s hard to believe that this shoot could have required so many people.

There’s a lot of variety to the extras. The audio commentary gives us surviving actor Greg Moffatt, hosted by Eric Kurland and Lawrence Kaufman of 3-D Space. We’re treated to a lot of guessing about production details. 3-D expert Mike Ballew can usually peg exactly which 3-D rig was used on specific movies, but in this case has to do some guesswork as well. At one point they can’t decide if Robot Monster played extensively in 3-D, when we thought it was widely distributed ‘in depth.’

The extras aren’t given individual menu tabs, but chapters in a single menu tab. The descriptions are only written on the inside of the disc cover insert. This seems like a nuisance until one realizes that it eliminates a lot of button-pushing. A full list is below; I went through them all and found most to be substantive and entertaining.

The original trailer has been recreated in 3-D, quite nicely. Greg Moffat spends an hour explaining his career as a child actor. 3-D expert Hilary Hess offers another of her excellent 3-D Realist still photo galleries, always a highlight of these releases. The selection includes great depth photos of Times Square, L.A.’s Bunker Hill, It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World showing at the Cinerama Dome, and even rock star Screamin’ Jay Hawkins.

The 3-D short subjects are a tame pair of burlesque striptease reels, restored by the 3-D Archive. Jack Theakston offers an entire 3-D comic book. The 3-D Archive gang’s Return to Bronson Canyon is a photo op with Bob Burns and the much-missed Kathy Burns. Likewise, the Stereo Club of Southern California contributes its own novelty ‘news’ video, a mock interview with Ro-man.

The extras that come when ‘2-D’ is selected range farther and wider. Robert Furmanek hosts a program about tracking down ‘Slick Slavin’ and eventually bringing him to revivals of Robot Monster. Better is a piece where Furmanek discusses some of the odd day-for-night and ‘double film’ 3-D tricks in the movie. Jack Theakston provides a nice montage of coming attractions trailers; Joe Dante comments on Trailers from Hell’s coverage for the film: “Our trailer today really IS from Hell.”

A longer documentary by Sean Thrunk explains in detail how Robert Furmanek came to recover Robot Monster in 3-D, ‘one eye at a time.’ He started conducting vault searches for lost 3-D material when working as an archivist for Jerry Lewis.

Extras in both formats include the commentary, an extensive memorabilia gallery and an ancient TV show featuring Bela Lugosi, where he mentions a 3-D project in which he will star.

 

It’s a very special disc for fans of Sci-fi, especially the 100% Weird variety. I was left with only a few comments and questions.

Post-production for Robot Monster could easily have raised the cash outlay up to the stated $60,000 dollars — the optical effects work includes a couple of rotoscoped mattes when characters step in front of a view screen. The visual quality is excellent, even if the design is not. The film reportedly made a lot of money, and we’re told that Phil Tucker became despondent when Zimbalist or Astor Pictures didn’t pay him his contractual profits. Although our loyalty is always for the filmmaker, depending on the deal that was made, the moneymen might counter-claim that Tucker didn’t deliver a finished film . . . (?)

 

We’re amused that George Nader gets married without even wearing a shirt. Things get really out of hand when Ro-man interrupts the honeymooners’ make-out session . . . if you’ve ever been to Bronson Caverns, it’s not an ideal spot for get-down romance.

One stock shot of a Triceratops fight from Lost Continent contains the 2-frame stop-motion flub where we can see a big HAMMER in the shot, right in front of one of the dinosaurs. I remember animator David Allen pointing this out, back in the early 1970s.

The ad material for this show is just plain robbery — the 1-sheet steals an image of Harryhausen’s The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms. One lobby card is at least 60% a photo from the original King Kong.

The restoration of Robot Monster required a Kickstarter campaign, and the contributors are presumably receiving early copies of the disc. We’re told that there were 1,153 backers — so it makes sense that their names are not all listed on the disc. One of these days, we would like to hear the inside story about the legal rights & ownership tangle that kept the restoration ‘in limbo’ for so many years.

Tom Weaver recommends this ‘making of’ book by Anders Runestad, I Cannot, Yet I Must: The True Story of the Best Bad Monster Movie of All Time, Robot Monster. Tom says it’s ‘the whole story, bubbles and all.’

Reviewed by Glenn Erickson

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Robot Monster 3-D
3-D Region Free Blu-ray rates:
Movie: Terrible but Wonderful
Video: Excellent
Sound: Excellent
3-D Supplements:
Recreated original trailer
Greg Moffett career interview Memories of a Pooped Out Pinwheel (63 minutes)
Hilary Hess stereo-realist 3-D photo gallery.
Short subjects Dance of the Blonde Slave’s Revenge and Madonna and Her Bubbles
3-D Comic book
Return to Bronson Canyon (2006) with Bob and Kathy Burns, Robert Furmanek, Jack Theakston, Greg Kintz
Whatever Happed to Ro-man? novelty short (2009)
Restoration demo
2-D Supplements
Furmanek explains vault searches for Jerry Lewis that uncovered 3-D materials.
Featurette Saving Slick about hunting down ‘Slick Slavin.’
2-D original trailer
Jack Theakston assembled Trailers for 3-D pix playing in L.A. concurrently
Monster from Mars opening title for Astor pix reissue 1956 and some TV screenings
Trailers from Hell entry with Joe Dante
Mistakes and Innovations, featurette about odd editorial details in Robot Monster with Furmanek
Rescuing Ro-man — Furmanek explains his rediscover of the film’s 3D elements
Extras in both 3-D and 2-D
Audio commentary with actor Greg Moffatt, Eric Kurland, Lawrence Kaufman, Mike Ballew
Memorabilia gallery
Bela Lugosi on You Asked For It — TV show with commentary by Gary D. Rhodes
Deaf and Hearing-impaired Friendly? YES; Subtitles: English (feature only)
Packaging: One 3-D Blu-ray in Keep case
Reviewed: June 17, 2023
(6940robo)

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Here’s Joe Dante on Robot Monster: