Kids have it tough. Grouchy old mom and dad to deal with, school, endless soccer practice … all with no wine to help take off the edge. They must find it terribly unfair that Mommy gets her medicine, but all they get is vaping and Tide Pods.
The Krazy Kidz in the movies featured this week on Trailers From Hell certainly didn’t take any perceived injustices sitting down. They, as the old expression goes, hit back hard.
The Children is a 1980 chiller which was caused critics to take their jobs at face value, criticizing nearly everything about the movie. From the writing to the acting to the special effects, scribes had a field day, using words like “nasty,” “despicable” and “ugly” in their descriptions. It was enough to drive a movie critic to drink. A yellow cloud of gas turns these Krazy Kidz into zombies for the new year, which might be where the idea for Dry February originated. It’s a whole different franchise, but some Walking Dead Red might make those zombies move a little quicker, to get to the bottle before it runs dry.
The poster for 1960’s Village of the Damned states “Beware the stare that will paralyze the will of the world.” My only concern is that the stare will make Bronco wines even cheaper and more prolific than they already are. By the way, the vomiting is supposed to happen AFTER you drink the Bronco wine. These Krazy Kids use their glowing-eye superpowers to make other folks do horrible things – like stock up on white Zinfandel.
The Innocents made 1961 a little darker, with movie goers wondering if Deborah Kerr’s character was scared, mental or just in need of a glass of wine or six. One of the Krazy Kidz tells the governess early on, “Oh, we will have fun together, won’t we?” Not so fast, innocent breath. Borrowing from another film, “Lady, you need a lot of drinks.” The lady worries that the estate is haunted by ghosts which have taken over the children. That’s right, she thinks they’ve been ghosted.
The easy pairing choice is for a ghost wine – a winery founded in the late 19th century and still operating in refurbished fashion. And no, they do not operate with a skeleton crew. That’s reserved for Halloween.
Virginia’s Gray Ghost Winery has a few white wines to uncork here, since faces are said to turn pale in the presence of ghosts. Or after consuming a little too much wine. The Innocents is an hour and a half long – pace yourself.