If It’s Tuesday, It Must Be Weld

by Randy Fuller Mar 16, 2022

Pairing‌‌‌ ‌‌‌wine‌‌‌ ‌‌‌with‌‌‌ ‌‌‌movies!‌‌‌  ‌‌‌See‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌hear‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌fascinating‌‌‌ ‌‌‌commentary‌‌‌ ‌‌‌for‌‌‌ ‌‌‌these‌‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌movies‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌many‌‌‌ ‌‌‌more‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌at‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌From‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Hell.‌‌‌  This week, our three films star the vivacious Tuesday Weld.

Weld starred in A Safe Place in 1971, alongside Orson Welles and Jack Nicholson.  She played a New York City “hippie chick” who was a few cards short of a deck.  She has two men in her life, neither of whom are right for her, so she seeks comfort in childhood memories, including some gifts given to her by a Central Park magician.  Wonder where he’s doing time right now?

The public wasn’t buying it, and the critics were even harsher.  Director Henry Jaglom took most of the heat.  He says he started making films after seeing 8½, but nowhere except on the movie poster was he mistaken for Fellini.

Freaked Out Hippie Wine is really just grape juice, sugar and yeast – make it yourself and no guarantees that it won’t taste like something you’d find in prison.  Not much more hope goes out for Fish Hippie Seersucker Red.  It’s made from Muscadine grapes and is available at Total Wine, although you may have to pick it up at a North Carolina store.

1968’s Pretty Poison had Weld paired with Anthony Perkins, as a cheerleader and an ex-con, and you don’t need two guesses to figure which was which.  Trouble doesn’t take long to find them, and when it does, it turns out she has the flair for crime.  The Perkins character decides it’s safer back in prison than hanging out with Ms. Poison, and that’s the best move he makes in the whole picture.  Beware a cheerleader who knows how to kill and doesn’t mind it one bit.

It is reportedly not poisonous, but Bitch Grenache comes from Australia and actually gets favorable reviews from users on websites not usually associated with fine wines.  The moniker suits the essence of Weld’s character like a 9 mm pom pom.  Find Bitch wherever you buy your wines, beers, malt liquors, hard seltzer or rubbing alcohol.

In Sex Kittens Go to College, from 1960, forget the cast – even though it features Mamie Van Doren, Weld, John Carradine, Jackie Coogan, Louis Nye, Vampira (not as herself) and Elektro the Robot as Thinko the Robot.  Check out the character names – Admiral Wildcat MacPherson, Legs Raffertino, Woo Woo Grabowski (his real name) and Tallahassee Tassel Tosser, among them.  That last name is a tipoff that strippers are involved, but don’t get too excited unless you have the version which was released to adult theaters, featuring a lengthy dream sequence starring those exotic dancers.  Essential viewing?  You be the judge.

When sex kittens go to college at UC Davis, they join the Aggies Uncorked wine club, which sends out monthly shipments of wines with a connection to the old oenological alma mater.  At some point, the university will sell the wine made by students in the wine program – for upwards of $100 a bottle.

Randy Fuller
NowAnd Zin Wine –
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