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Hellscapes

by Randy Fuller Jul 22, 2023

Pairing‌ ‌wine‌ ‌with‌ ‌movies!‌  ‌See‌ ‌the‌ ‌trailers‌ ‌and‌ ‌hear‌ ‌the‌ ‌fascinating‌ ‌commentary‌ ‌for‌ ‌these‌ ‌movies‌ ‌and‌ ‌many‌ ‌more‌ ‌at‌ ‌Trailers‌ ‌From‌ ‌Hell.‌ This week, Blood of the Vines goes to hell in a handbasket for three films straight outta Hades. There’s a hot wine pick for each Damned movie.

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight is a 1995 blend of horror and comedy, two styles that marry together better than one might imagine. Demon Knight unfortunately didn’t make the scribes of the day get all weepy. Critics said that the general problem with the film was that it presented itself as being scary and funny, but fell a bit short on both counts.

The Crypt Keeper himself – itself? – opens and closes the movie, delivering a sample of mid-90s entertainment. He – it? – may have been the inspiration for the talking skeletons you’ll find in the market section of Cracker Barrel around Halloween time.

For a Crypt Keeper movie, let us pair Crypt of the Wizard wines, which are also a headbanger’s delight. This Greek Merlot promises to open “the iron gates of the Mortiis Kingdom.” It’s kinda like Lord of the Rings meets Judas Priest. Schlagers!

https://headbangingwine.com/crypt-of-the-wizard-wine-collection/

The Brits gave us Curse of the Demon in 1957, possibly a delayed revenge for us leaving the loving arms of King George. The film was called Night of the Demon overseas, and we got the cursed title, along with a shorter running time.

The story pits a couple of runic experts against each other, with a demon thrown in to make things more interesting. There was a big fight over whether to show the demon onscreen or leave it to the “theater of the mind.” It was felt by some that leaving the demon unseen was “too British.” The two sides generated so much animosity that one would think they had all forgotten they were working on a movie destined for the American drive-ins.

Enticement’s Demon Dance Shiraz promises to bring out your “devil-may-care” side, and we are just hoping that it is not an actual demon which emerges.

https://justwines.com.au/enticement-demon-dance-australia-shiraz-2020

The 1987 British horror film Hellraiser was written and directed by Clive Barker. He did okay with this movie, spawning from it nine sequels and a reboot. Of course half of them went straight to video.

Forget the story line, forget the gore – what you’ll remember is Pinhead. He’s the guy who looks like acupuncture gone wrong. I recently discovered that he bears a strong resemblance to a guy wearing an 18th century bear hunting outfit. A bear won’t mess with a porcupine, I guess.

The wine for Hellraiser should probably come from the netherworld, but how about Georgia? Is that close enough to the netherworld for you? Farmer’s Daughter Vineyards produces a wine called Hellraiser, which is made from the Blanc du Bois grape. That is a fruit which is typically grown in warm, humid climes. It generally ends up as a bubbly, but this appears to be a still, semi-sweet wine. I don’t think the name of the movie matches the grape. Saying “Oh, boy. Blanc du Bois. Let’s watch Hellraiser” is a bit like yelling “Imma get ripped on Riesling and tear this place apart!” But your mileage may vary.

https://www.stompedingeorgia.com/

Randy Fuller
NowAnd Zin Wine – www.nowandzin.com
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