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Get Shafted

by Randy Fuller Feb 19, 2021

Pairing‌‌‌ ‌‌‌wine‌‌‌ ‌‌‌with‌‌‌ ‌‌‌movies!‌‌‌  ‌‌‌See‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌hear‌‌‌ ‌‌‌the‌‌‌ ‌‌‌fascinating‌‌‌ ‌‌‌commentary‌‌‌ ‌‌‌for‌‌‌ ‌‌‌these‌‌‌ movies‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌and‌‌‌ ‌‌‌many‌‌‌ ‌‌‌more‌,‌‌ ‌‌‌at‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Trailers‌‌‌ ‌‌‌From‌‌‌ ‌‌‌Hell.‌‌‌ ‌ This week, we look at a couple of Shaft movies and a near-Shaft film, with wine and beer pairings for all three.

Shaft ’19 is the fifth film in the Shaft series, a surprise to anyone who thought the first one was enough.  Samuel L. Jackson is John Shaft, son of John Shaft, Sr., played by Richard Roundtree, the original Shaft.  There’s a grandson involved – named John Shaft III – but they call him JJ due to the unwritten rule concerning too many people in a movie bearing the same name.  Even the film itself couldn’t find a title that separated it from the pack.

All three Shafts are detectives of one sort or another and they all try to beat the bad guys – the drug kingpins.  There are shootings, bad feelings and makeups along the way before an ending that leaves the door wide open for another Shaft sequel, possibly with a fourth generation of John Shafts.  The more the merrier.

While scouring the internet for a pairing with Shaft ‘19, it did not surprise me to come across a listing for Samuel L. Jackson Motherf@#%ing Rye Wine.  It’s actually more of a beer, and I don’t know if the Pretentious Beer Company still offers it.  They do have one called Chug Life, a Czech-style pilsner which might fit the bill.

https://untappd.com/b/pretentious-beer-co-samuel-l-jackson-motherfucking-rye-wine/2619700

In the original Shaft, from 1971, Roundtree is the P.I. who is asked to find the daughter of a Harlem mobster who was kidnapped by Italian mafiosi.  There are shootings, bad feelings and a “case closed” stamp provided by Shaft… John Shaft.

For Shaft, you could scrape together a few grand for a wine once owned by the late mob boss John Gotti.  His collection is reportedly for sale at a wine shop in Queens.  Story goes, his wife once used a thousand-dollar bottle for cooking.  It may have gotten almost as big a laugh as wiping up lines of cocaine with a wet rag, thinking they were Parmesan cheese.

https://nypost.com/2021/02/13/mobster-john-gottis-wine-collection-is-now-for-sale-in-queens/

1973’s The Slams features former NFL star Jim Brown in what could be taken as a “Shaft goes to prison” tale.  Brown’s character is in the hoosegow for pulling a million-dollar job.  People inside want him to give up the location of the cash, but he needs to get over the wall in a hurry.  The clock is ticking, because the place where he hid the loot is scheduled for demolition.

For Brown, The Slams was quite a comedown from 1967’s The Dirty Dozen.  The movie falls in with a stretch of celluloid which includes Black Gunn, Slaughter and Slaughter’s Big Rip-Off.  Ooh, Netflix me!

Brown is a prisoner in The Slams, so let’s pair the film with the wine known as The Prisoner.  I don’t know how high the security is in Napa Valley’s stoney lonesome, but it is said to be relatively easy to smuggle a bottle or two of The Prisoner out of your local wine shop.  $49 bucks is all it takes to grease the warden’s palm.

https://theprisonerwinecompany.com/

For the adventurous – or the incarcerated – maybe some pruno will do the trick.  It’s prison wine, and here’s a spoiler alert: it tastes like something spoiled.

https://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/6-low-effort-cooking-projects-to-try

Randy Fuller
NowAnd Zin Wine – www.nowandzin.com